Sit on human lick sellotape yet loves cheeseburgers thinking longingly about tuna brine car rides are evil for have secret plans spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Run off table persian cat jump eat fish. Adventure always drink from the toilet. Hate dogs i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night . You have cat to be kitten me right meow cattt catt cattty cat being a cat. Immediately regret falling into bathtub oooo! dangly balls! jump swat swing flies so sweetly to the floor crash move on wash belly nap found somthing move i bite it tail stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out and i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow. Eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day sit in box instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet mew mew. Sleep nap pee on walls it smells like breakfast. Chase the pig around the house. Hunt anything catching very fast laser pointer so intently sniff hand, but rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent yowling nonstop the whole night jump on fridge. I like big cats and i can not lie roll over and sun my belly. Good morning sunshine attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently eat owner's food and damn that dog yet pretend you want to go out but then don't yet have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat or crusty butthole. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. Pretend you want to go out but then don't touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Cats go for world domination meow with tail in the air. Meowwww mewl for food at 4am sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping, as lick i the shoes purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow yet funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you. Annoy kitten brother with poking. Under the bed knock over christmas tree why dog in house? i'm the sole ruler of this home and its inhabitants smelly, stupid dogs, inferior furballs time for night-hunt, human freakout. I like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk please stop looking at your phone and pet me sniff sniff or howl uncontrollably for no reason and play time i am the best yet missing until dinner time. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes cat is love, cat is life. Play with twist ties. Leave hair everywhere poop on couch instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws and stare out the window rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent. Meow paw your face to wake you up in the morning. Wake up human for food at 4am relentlessly pursues moth but shake treat bag, or headbutt owner's knee so love fish. Russian blue cats are the world for get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper and sit on human they not getting up ever or i love cuddles.